The REST of the story

Friday we spoke to our potential birth mother-Amanda. She's 18 years old and graduated last year from High School. She's not going to college or working at this time. She does want to go to college and is hoping to enroll for Spring semester. I was so nervous talking to her. I know I probably kept rattling on and on. We did have a good conversation-we spoke for about 45 minutes.

After talking to her, my biggest concern is that she has not seen a doctor yet and she's 16 wks along or so-she thinks she's due middle of March. That was one of the conversations I had with the agency after speaking to Amanda. I mean, how can we say we'll proceed with adoption if we don't even know how the baby is doing. She doesn't have insurance, she's living with her parents who are still claiming her on their taxes so she can't qualify for government assistance. SO, now we have to figure out a way to get insurance for her. We've told her that we would pay for the 1st doctor's appt and in the mean time figure out what our options are for the rest of her health care.

I'm frustrated because to me it's easy to see that Amanda needs some guidance. I get that she messed up, but how can you let your daughter not go to the doctor when she's pregnant? I just don't get it.

Amanda has found a doctor and she has an appt scheduled for November 14th. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!! She should be about 20 wks along and we should be able to find out the sex of the baby. Amanda asked if we wanted to know and I told we did, but if she didn't, we were okay with that. 3 wks seems like forever away, but then again, it's 3 wks closer to her due date!

These next 5 months will probably be the slowest time event ever! Remember when you were a kid and it seemed like the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas stood still? The worst part is that you want to plan for a baby--you need to plan for the baby. I just won't be able to. There's just no way that I'll be able to decorate a room-even if we do find out the sex-not knowing for sure if we'll actually be bringing this little one home.

I was telling a friend last night that I hate being negative--and I feel negative right now. Usually I'm so upbeat about life in general...we have had so many disappoints when it comes to bringing children in our lives. I just want it happen to me. Selfish to say, I know. But it's true.