My non-baby exciting news!

Today I sent out the 2nd batch of profiles. As I put them together yesterday, I was praying that a birthmother would fall in love with us and soon we would be blessed with our baby. My birthday is in about 2 wks so that is my ultimate birthday wish....I hope that my prayer of blessings follow and news will be coming quickly. ENOUGH baby talk!

NOW for the exciting news! You will never believe what I did on Saturday! I was so impressed with myself, I have to share it with you. I ran a 5K...my very first! It was Race for the Cure this past weekend and normally I walk it with friends, but this year since I've been working out I decided I would really try and run it. I ran all but about 200 yards or so. I'm mad at myself for even walking that bit because now I feel like I have to preface my great accomplishment with---well I ran all but 200 yards! But seriously-this is something I never thought I would actually do! I HATE and I mean HATE running, but I must say it wasn't so bad. My pace is extremely slow so for next year I'm going to work on that. After I was done Sat, I called 5 people to share my running news! I was so pumped.

We are seeding and strawing our yard today-which I can't wait to be done. It's supposed to rain all week so we totally need to get it done TODAY. Moving into a new house takes so much to get everything just right...we have all these visions and ideas, but they take time and money...both of which are limited right now. Oh well, just one more thing to be patient about.

Another Avenue

Today I feel good-almost at peace. Not totally, but I think I'm getting there. I've been working out with a trainer for almost 2 months now and Tuesday I went in and she was like, somethings different about you today. I told her I felt at peace-she totally got it. Kelly, my trainer, is awesome. She also went thru struggles trying to have children. After finally getting pregnant, she actually lost a baby right after he was born so she has truly been a sounding board for me. She gets me.

We've decided to get into the DHS system and apply to be foster/adoptive parents. This is a route neither one of us thought we would pursue, but too many things have happened now that is leading us to this possibility. Not sure what to expect really, but we are going to a meeting on April 29th to find out more. I'm hoping that all of our paperwork we did for Lifetime will be helpful in moving us more quickly in their systems. We want to leave no rock unturned and no path untraveled to get us to the child that He meant for us to have.

Last night Michael and I were sitting outside on our front porch steps just enjoying the moon and sounds of nighttime. He said, "you know, I can just imagine us sitting out here, watching our children playing in the driveway. Our time is coming. I just know it." I thought, you know what, you're right. Our time is coming. And I can't wait.

I'm Back...

Well, I'm back. I know it's been a long time since I wrote anything. I just couldn't face my last few postings...so I just signed on and didn't re-read anything I wrote. Obviously the pain is still close. I would have never thought in a million years that we wouldn't have a baby yet. I got a note from our coordinator at Lifetime that she needs more profiles. That means out of 50 profiles only 3 birth mothers "liked" us. That's disheartening. I'm in the process of getting more profiles together. I have high expectations which leads me to more heart break. I wish I didn't.

We are going to start the invitro process again, probably in the next few months. We finally finished our new home, which is a huge relief. I want to get settled in before we add more stress to our lives. I did find out that my FSH levels are higher than they should be, but it's still possible to conceive. It just lowers our odds of a success. One source of good news is that Michael's insurance provider was changed beginning in 08 and now invitro is covered up to 12K! That is definitely a blessing. I know I need to be more positive-but my heart is so guarded.

Please don't stop praying for us. We need them desperately. Personally, praying for our baby is getting so hard. I feel like I've poured my heart and soul our to Him and He doesn't hear my sorrow.