Chit Chat

We have been speaking with Ester every wk since we 1st found out about her. I've been finding out little tidbits of information here and there, but I think she might be embarrassed of her life. It makes me sad she feels that way. I'm hoping that after this, that she'll take advantage of scholarships that are available thru lifetime. Id like to see her get her life on track and be an example to her children.

It's so sweet because her eldest daughter, Linda (who is actually her niece) is the one that helped her choose us. She is very interested in us and is constantly asking her mom to ask us something. She told her mom that maybe she wanted us to adopt her.....:) I told Ester to tell Linda that she could be our honorary adoptive daughter-she seemed thrilled with that. She 13 years old and that can be such a rough time in a girls life.

As my conversations go on with Ester, I think maybe not only will we have a baby but maybe we can make a difference in the lives of this whole family.

Ester's dad is in prison-not sure why. The dad or dads of the kids don't seem to be in the picture. I haven't asked Ester about it. She likes to talk more about what's going on with me or tell me about what her kids are dong.

I think we are going to meet her in October. At least that's what it seems like at this point. I think it will make it easier instead of officially meeting her in the delivery room and it's like-Hi I'm Shannon.

I'm hoping that this week we will have a date when she goes in for her ultrasound...I should talk to her today-she seems to call on a Wednesday or Thursday. Please continue to pray for her and this baby. We want them both to be healthy.....

Ester

We found out yesterday afternoon that we have officially matched with Ester! Things aren't going to change that drastically but now we know that she wants to move forward with us as much as want to move forward with her. It was so sweet-she wanted to be the one that called to tell us we could make our "match" official now. She is in her 15th wk now and will probably be having her ultrasound the end of the month. Michael really wants to know, as I do, but I told her if she didn't want to, that was okay. It doesn't matter if it's a girl or a boy...we just pray for health for both of them. We won't be preparing a room till this baby is home in our arms, so it's not that big of a deal either way.

Continue to pray for us, for Ester and for this baby. We are thrilled but December is a LONG way away.....I'll keep you posted.

Ester

Some exciting news happened. We spoke with a BM last Tuesday and again last night. Ester is 31 yrs old, has 3 kids and raising her niece. She is also taking care of her mother who has being stages of Alzheimer's. (needless to say she has her hands full!) She is Hispanic and the daddy is also Hispanic and that's about all she knows about the dad. I'm guessing she had a one night stand because all she told the agency was that she knew his first name and approximately how tall he was. (Eek-not good, I know.) Anywho, it could be good for us because it will be listed as father unknown so we won't have to worry about him disputing the adoption. I think all they are required to do is place an ad in the paper telling the date, place, etc and if no response, no worries.

She is only 12 wks along-she's due Christmas Day. Won't this be an amazing Christmas gift?? We obviously have a long road ahead of us till December so for now, we will pray and try to find other things to occupy our time.

We can't officially "match" with Ester till she's in her 2nd trimester which will be sometime mid July. For now we're are just chatting with her each wk and trying to get to know her better. She seems very level headed and does know all the sadness we've had to face trying to have children. I pray that this will be the beginning of a new chapter...a happy ending.

I'll keep you updated as we go along. Hopefully soon we'll have some pics of her I can share with you. We are anxious to see her ourselves. Thanks in advance for all your love, support and prayers.

Pot Luck!

We had our meeting with DHS yesterday to start the process of becoming Foster/Adoptive parents. It went really well We filled all the paperwork out. Next step is to determine when we can start our training classes. The social worker said that they start them every month but last month they were full, so we may not be able to get into a class till June. (we have to be approved before we can sign up for the class) I'm praying we can get into May's class....the faster we get the classes done (they are 6 wks) the faster we will be an approved home.

I am still praying that this week we will hear from Lifetime. I turn 35 on Friday and what I really want for my birthday is a baby-or at least to know that a birthmom has chosen us. It's only Wednesday so I'm hopeful.

This weekend was s fun...Friday some of my girlfriends took me out for dinner and pedi's to celebrate my birthday and what could be better than that?? It was great to be together-with the move my life has been topsy turvy and I haven't had much time to socialize. Thanks girls for making me feel special!

Sunday we had a HUGE crowd out to the house. It was Life Group and we decided to combine our old group and new group for a big get together. It was nuts-I think the count was 38 or so and 15 of them were under 5 yrs old! We gave our new house a true initiation! The most fabulous part, besides having so many of my dear friends over, was that Michael and I were prayed over. This is the 2nd time we've done this and it's just so moving. To feel the love and to have hands touching you as prayers were being sent up to Him is amazing. I'm so blessed to have so many friends that truly want us to have a baby almost as much as we do. I couldn't ask for a better support system.

Today I got a call from my dearest friend Sherry-she has a challenge for me....she wants me to run a triathlon with her!!!!! It's the 10th of August so I would have to start training the end of May. Luckily this is a sprint triathlon-which I understand is a shorter. I don't know guys, what do you think? I'm thinking yes-I must be nuts!

Last but not least-please pray for Michael's grandfather-Pop. Michael and I went over to his house yesterday to help them out a bit and Michael ended up taking him to the hospital. He's 87 years old and has lived a great life, but he means the world to Michael. We both really want Pop to meet our child and we just pray that God will let that happen here on earth.

My non-baby exciting news!

Today I sent out the 2nd batch of profiles. As I put them together yesterday, I was praying that a birthmother would fall in love with us and soon we would be blessed with our baby. My birthday is in about 2 wks so that is my ultimate birthday wish....I hope that my prayer of blessings follow and news will be coming quickly. ENOUGH baby talk!

NOW for the exciting news! You will never believe what I did on Saturday! I was so impressed with myself, I have to share it with you. I ran a 5K...my very first! It was Race for the Cure this past weekend and normally I walk it with friends, but this year since I've been working out I decided I would really try and run it. I ran all but about 200 yards or so. I'm mad at myself for even walking that bit because now I feel like I have to preface my great accomplishment with---well I ran all but 200 yards! But seriously-this is something I never thought I would actually do! I HATE and I mean HATE running, but I must say it wasn't so bad. My pace is extremely slow so for next year I'm going to work on that. After I was done Sat, I called 5 people to share my running news! I was so pumped.

We are seeding and strawing our yard today-which I can't wait to be done. It's supposed to rain all week so we totally need to get it done TODAY. Moving into a new house takes so much to get everything just right...we have all these visions and ideas, but they take time and money...both of which are limited right now. Oh well, just one more thing to be patient about.

Another Avenue

Today I feel good-almost at peace. Not totally, but I think I'm getting there. I've been working out with a trainer for almost 2 months now and Tuesday I went in and she was like, somethings different about you today. I told her I felt at peace-she totally got it. Kelly, my trainer, is awesome. She also went thru struggles trying to have children. After finally getting pregnant, she actually lost a baby right after he was born so she has truly been a sounding board for me. She gets me.

We've decided to get into the DHS system and apply to be foster/adoptive parents. This is a route neither one of us thought we would pursue, but too many things have happened now that is leading us to this possibility. Not sure what to expect really, but we are going to a meeting on April 29th to find out more. I'm hoping that all of our paperwork we did for Lifetime will be helpful in moving us more quickly in their systems. We want to leave no rock unturned and no path untraveled to get us to the child that He meant for us to have.

Last night Michael and I were sitting outside on our front porch steps just enjoying the moon and sounds of nighttime. He said, "you know, I can just imagine us sitting out here, watching our children playing in the driveway. Our time is coming. I just know it." I thought, you know what, you're right. Our time is coming. And I can't wait.

I'm Back...

Well, I'm back. I know it's been a long time since I wrote anything. I just couldn't face my last few postings...so I just signed on and didn't re-read anything I wrote. Obviously the pain is still close. I would have never thought in a million years that we wouldn't have a baby yet. I got a note from our coordinator at Lifetime that she needs more profiles. That means out of 50 profiles only 3 birth mothers "liked" us. That's disheartening. I'm in the process of getting more profiles together. I have high expectations which leads me to more heart break. I wish I didn't.

We are going to start the invitro process again, probably in the next few months. We finally finished our new home, which is a huge relief. I want to get settled in before we add more stress to our lives. I did find out that my FSH levels are higher than they should be, but it's still possible to conceive. It just lowers our odds of a success. One source of good news is that Michael's insurance provider was changed beginning in 08 and now invitro is covered up to 12K! That is definitely a blessing. I know I need to be more positive-but my heart is so guarded.

Please don't stop praying for us. We need them desperately. Personally, praying for our baby is getting so hard. I feel like I've poured my heart and soul our to Him and He doesn't hear my sorrow.