HMMMM.....

Okay well after I muddled over a conversation I had with Ester on Friday night for a few days and after I spoke with our Adoption coordinator....I'm now puzzled. Ester was acting different on Friday night-not herself at all. She mentioned some things that were kinda strange, but during the conversation I really didn't think much about it. Like she said that her son asked her-"hypothetically what would you name the baby?" She had a name picked out and told me what it was. I was thinking at the time-weird, but maybe she's trying to find out what we are naming him. And she said something about how a committee that she's on a school wants to throw her a baby shower and her sister said-didn't you tell them that you weren't keeping the baby-she said No, it's none of their business. She told her sister that she was going to give us all the stuff that they gave her. Strange again, right?? There were other little things that made me feel uneasy, but with the excitement of talking to Myra, I think I buried them a bit.

So, Veronica our adoption coordinator, said that these are not good signs, but not necessarily horrible signs. I told her that we have been thru enough heartache and if she is thinking about changing her mind, we want to know now. We are supposed to go out there in October and I'm not going unsure of where we stand. Veronica was going to call Ester and try and talk to her without telling her everything I told her. Hopefully I'll hear back from her today.

Anyway-I'm not sure what all this means but we are so tired of all this. I'm so thankful that we have this baby girl to think about and that is really helping me not to freak out about it. We feel so good about that situation--although we felt really good about Ester too, so who knows!?!

Keep praying that if this little boy is not ours we will find out now and not have to go thru another 3 months and then she changes her mind. Also don't forget about Myra and our little girl!

Are we crazy?

Yes, I think we might be. This is the question I've been asking myself since Monday. Seriously, our we Nuts-o?

This could be a HUGE long story, so I'll try and abbreviate it a bit. Monday we got a call from a girl at church who has been a mentor to a local drug and rehab place near where we live. She said, I know of a BM who wants to talk to you about adopting her baby. So we meet...yes, that day. Michael and I go up there with really no expectations. Just wanted to get info, and see what the deal was. She walks up to greet us and she Hispanic. It was kind of ironic and I know we were both thinking the same thing-wow...she's Hispanic. Awesome! If I haven't made it clear, the little boy we are adopting is Hispanic as well. Back to my drama...we sit down to talk to her and we ask her lots of questions--about her, about her life, what she wants, etc. We found out she's 30 years old, this is her 5th child, her other 4 kids are in foster homes and she's in rehab for doing meth. We also found out that she's due October 18th and it's a little GIRL! She has seen the dr. since she got into the rehab facility and has been clean since June..our estimates are that she did meth for about 4 months of the babies life-super scary. Her doctor told her that the baby is doing well and right now the only problem is that she's alot tinier than normal. She has another dr's appt on Sept 17th and they will do an ultrasound again to check this little one out. She tells us that she's ready to make a decision and doesn't want to look at other families. I told her that I would call her Friday-tomorrow-and see how she's feeling and if she still wants to proceed.

SO-from this we go home and our minds are racing. We are most worried about the health of the baby and what the effects could be. I called as many people as I could between Monday and Tuesday to ask their opinion...dr's, nurses, foster specialist, our family, an elder at our church and even an attorney. We were told by the medical people that learning disabilities as well as hyper activity seems to be the most likely as well as how small she'll be at birth...nothing that we can't overcome. I guess there's not a lot of studies that have been done relating to meth during the pregnancy since meth is a relatively new drug.

Okay-so right now we are thinking that we will take her....yes and we will take him too! Now you know why I ask if we are crazy! They will be approximately 2 months apart.

The other super scary part is that we don't want to tell either BM's what's going on-especially Ester. I hate that but I don't want Ester to change her mind and by telling her, we're giving her a possibility to doubt her decision.

Again, I ask for your fervent prayers. Please pray that we will make the right decision--whatever that may be--for our family. Pray for both babies and BM-the little girls BM's name is Myra.

Love to all...

A baby boy for us!

It's true-It's a boy! We found out Thursday and I've been meaning to blog about it and just haven't. It was so sweet-her oldest daughter, Linda-wrote us a poem and that's how she told us. "Roses are red, violets are blue, Michael and Shannon it's a baby boy for you!" Michael was ECSTATIC when he found out. He was getting a tidbit emotional but was able to hold it together. After he got off the phone to start texting everyone AND there brother, Ester said, he's really excited isn't he? I told her, yes sirree, he is!

It makes it all so much more real knowing we know what the baby is and that we will have to start preparing for little boy stuff. God is so good and I know in the past I have definitely doubted Him. I guess that's just the human side of me. I'm so thrilled that this opportunity has been laid at our feet and humbled that we will indeed be parents. My heart is so full of hope, joy and love I can't wait to share it with our sweet, precious boy.

Please continue your prayers for us, Ester and our little one. We so desperately need them. I do have more news, but no time to write about it. No, I'm not pregnant----I promise I'll get back here today or tomorrow. Keep checking back!

Boy or Girl?

Indeed I thought I would be posting that we found out the sex of the baby this week. Ester was supposed to go have an ultrasound last Tuesday. We were so anxious to find out--I was a nervous wreck, plus I was PMS'ing so my emotions were whacked out. Poor Michael!

Anyway, Ester's appointment was at 9am CA time and she called about 2 our time. The baby was so active that "it" wouldn't stay still to find out! As soon as the tech had the legs in place, Ester said the baby did a complete somersault. Maybe they're a bit shy or maybe this is just another lesson in patience?? We said we really didn't care (which we don't) but it surely would be nice to know. Luckily the tech was really sweet and told Ester as soon as they had a cancellation, they would bring her back in. SO maybe we will find something out in the next few wks. We did find out that the baby is healthy AND that the due date was moved up to December 13th! I'm thrilled that it moved up, not only because I really didn't want the baby to have to share it's b-day with Christmas AND it's almost 2 wks earlier than the original date. Woo Hoo!

I'm sure I'll hear from Ester either today or tomorrow so maybe we have another ultrasound scheduled.

Keep praying! :)

Chit Chat

We have been speaking with Ester every wk since we 1st found out about her. I've been finding out little tidbits of information here and there, but I think she might be embarrassed of her life. It makes me sad she feels that way. I'm hoping that after this, that she'll take advantage of scholarships that are available thru lifetime. Id like to see her get her life on track and be an example to her children.

It's so sweet because her eldest daughter, Linda (who is actually her niece) is the one that helped her choose us. She is very interested in us and is constantly asking her mom to ask us something. She told her mom that maybe she wanted us to adopt her.....:) I told Ester to tell Linda that she could be our honorary adoptive daughter-she seemed thrilled with that. She 13 years old and that can be such a rough time in a girls life.

As my conversations go on with Ester, I think maybe not only will we have a baby but maybe we can make a difference in the lives of this whole family.

Ester's dad is in prison-not sure why. The dad or dads of the kids don't seem to be in the picture. I haven't asked Ester about it. She likes to talk more about what's going on with me or tell me about what her kids are dong.

I think we are going to meet her in October. At least that's what it seems like at this point. I think it will make it easier instead of officially meeting her in the delivery room and it's like-Hi I'm Shannon.

I'm hoping that this week we will have a date when she goes in for her ultrasound...I should talk to her today-she seems to call on a Wednesday or Thursday. Please continue to pray for her and this baby. We want them both to be healthy.....

Ester

We found out yesterday afternoon that we have officially matched with Ester! Things aren't going to change that drastically but now we know that she wants to move forward with us as much as want to move forward with her. It was so sweet-she wanted to be the one that called to tell us we could make our "match" official now. She is in her 15th wk now and will probably be having her ultrasound the end of the month. Michael really wants to know, as I do, but I told her if she didn't want to, that was okay. It doesn't matter if it's a girl or a boy...we just pray for health for both of them. We won't be preparing a room till this baby is home in our arms, so it's not that big of a deal either way.

Continue to pray for us, for Ester and for this baby. We are thrilled but December is a LONG way away.....I'll keep you posted.

Ester

Some exciting news happened. We spoke with a BM last Tuesday and again last night. Ester is 31 yrs old, has 3 kids and raising her niece. She is also taking care of her mother who has being stages of Alzheimer's. (needless to say she has her hands full!) She is Hispanic and the daddy is also Hispanic and that's about all she knows about the dad. I'm guessing she had a one night stand because all she told the agency was that she knew his first name and approximately how tall he was. (Eek-not good, I know.) Anywho, it could be good for us because it will be listed as father unknown so we won't have to worry about him disputing the adoption. I think all they are required to do is place an ad in the paper telling the date, place, etc and if no response, no worries.

She is only 12 wks along-she's due Christmas Day. Won't this be an amazing Christmas gift?? We obviously have a long road ahead of us till December so for now, we will pray and try to find other things to occupy our time.

We can't officially "match" with Ester till she's in her 2nd trimester which will be sometime mid July. For now we're are just chatting with her each wk and trying to get to know her better. She seems very level headed and does know all the sadness we've had to face trying to have children. I pray that this will be the beginning of a new chapter...a happy ending.

I'll keep you updated as we go along. Hopefully soon we'll have some pics of her I can share with you. We are anxious to see her ourselves. Thanks in advance for all your love, support and prayers.